Our story....(long reading sorry)

So I'm sitting here trying to read a book and baby A keeps pushing my book off my belly....

So then I sat here just laughing out loud to myself (and the boys) watching my belly move one way then the other....such a funny feeling and sight. 

It has been hard to laugh (unless my sister is here) at the situation and where I am at. This pregnancy has been SOOOO hard. one thing after the other. I really do not like being pregnant

But I really am so grateful for these little miracles that are soon going to be part of our family.

Last week was National Infertility Awareness Week. 

I was going to post something, maybe our story, but then things kept coming up...more time in the hospital, more terb shots etc. Just never got around to it. 

Infertility can be such a sensitive subject...it is emotionally draining...so hard. And people just don't think before making stupid comments or advice. Seriously?! Did you really just tell me that? Support groups are hard to find--especially within the church...

Baby A and Baby B are our little miracles!!!

So our story...(kind of long...sorry) 

3 years of dealing with fertility treatments, negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test...

I'll admit--there were times I didn't feel I had a testimony anymore--I had to lean on Marsh so much during those 3 years. 

I remember crying all night sometimes. 

My fertility specialists were amazing though--Dr L always seemed to help me keep my hopes up but at the same time be realistic with my condition. (My condition that I found out I had one year before getting married...I was told pregnancy would be hard if not impossible to achieve. I thought I was prepared for 

all the treatments and options) Not even close. 

So...after failed procedure time and time again...we decided I would have surgery that was desperately needed and we would stop all treatments and go the adoption route. IVF (in vitro fertilization) was going to be a lot of money...

We had all of our paperwork filled out and ready to go...we were signed up to start our classes and that is where it all stayed. Things kept coming up...and slowly--I started to question if we had made the right decision.

Back to prayers and fasting...I was so confused...we were both okay with adoption and actually both felt (before even knowing each other) that adoption would be a route we went.

I finally told Marsh that we needed to schedule our IVF and just exhaust all of our options for fertility before we went adoption route. I didn't know why though and to be honest...I was scared to death to go that route and go through all the emotional stress and drama all over again. 

So we called up Dr L and got our appt scheduled. Soon all the meds were sitting at my door...

My own little pharmacy! 

These were the 3 main injections I had on a regular basis.

I got so tired of sticking myself! Human pincushion is the closest thing I can describe it as. 

Our baby (babies) would be started in this little dish...so weird to think about.

We decided that if we were going to do the IVF route we would also do the ICSI (Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection) process. We didn't want to risk anything and my Dr really felt there was something wrong with the barrier on my eggs, so this process would make sure that the best chance of fertilization could happen. 

6 days after the procedure I started feeling weird and one morning I woke up looking like I was 5 months pregnant. I couldn't breathe. I waited several days to see if I was just being crazy or if I really was overstimulating. I finally went in to see what was going on. Sure enough--I my ovaries were 5 and 6 times the size they should be (even now one of them is still 3x the size it should be)

I had significant water in my abdomen. Blood was drawn even though it was 3 days early to be tested but my dr really felt this was a good thing. 

Finally good news! I was pregnant!! Two days later another blood draw just to make sure...

Still pregnant!

The next week. Ultrasound to check sac and all of that (3 weeks after procedure). Just one baby.

Two weeks later, ended up in ER because I was in so much pain. I was for sure I had a cyst rupture. I was in tears and starting to go into shock so I called my mom while I was lying on the bathroom floor in pain. Mom's are so amazing--even when they are almost 1k miles away.

ER kept asking me how many babies I was having...only 1. Finally the u/s tech asked me again and then said "I think you should see this" Two heartbeats!!! I started to cry! Marsh felt all along there were two but Dr kept saying one.

So...here we are...trial after trial with this pregnancy and as much as I hate being pregnant I am so grateful for modern technology and medicine that has allowed us this chance to start our family. I couldn't have asked for a better support and husband than Marsh...he was there for me and was strong enough for both us when I didn't have the strength or testimony. He was there at 2 in the morning when I couldn't stop crying or couldn't stop throwing up or whatever was going on.